StormFireRealm

It's been a long time since my last post, fuck way to long. So we are at that dumb stupid point again. A vamp trying to change, to be what my ex wants (same one) over several years. I can't connect on that lvl humans want. I mind does not see it as they want or need it to see things. I see them as a food source, no matter how much I try to block the feelings lock them up and never let the cracks in. It some hows break in one way or an other. I trying to fight it off. I trying to change and I just can't. No matter I see my self with her for our lifetime. I can never make it work. I fuck it up, over and over and over again. Saying the wrong thing, not understanding the right way to talk to a human. Feeling, it all be rip out of me. The cuts, the blood running down, hurts 1000 times less than losing her again. Trying to lock the pain away. To never let it out, to let the magik pull it out and away, but then it just comes back. The white maigk is not strong enough. Need to keep my self

As we are at the end of an other year, u see that every time a vamp falls in love it just end in hell.  This last year is the year the world tried to make this vamp say burn world. Well, it did and it's why we vamp can't trust humans. Vampire, can not and never work. The pain, passion, the blood. I'll of it u give but to have it pulled from u, over and over, till we stop and just stay with who and what we are. Maybe this year of hell will end.

Well, after trying once again for over a year with a human. This is been the hardest relationship ever and I wanted things I never wanted b4 with her. Well, it just shows to my self that a vamp is not meant to be happy or with a human. It's never going to work no matter what I feel or think. Time to go over to black magik and block feelings once and for all. Block them where they will never come out again. Never fall for anyone again. I will search for as long as I need to and I will cross that line I said I would never cross if I have to, to find and have that spell that will block or remove emotions. I can never get close again after this a